In the future, even crime will be virtual...
So, what did *I* do this weekend, besides not go to Escapade with the rest of the world?
Well, I came home late Thursday evening, and discovered a great big fat letter from my insurance company waiting for me. The letter began like this:
Your policy with us requires that we be notified promptly of any accident involving your automobile. Our records reveal that you have no yet notified us of an accident occurring on or about the above date. We were informed of this accident by BigFatLiarAttorneys* & Associates, Attorneys at Law
So I stood there for a moment going, "buh?" and then I freaked. OUT. I have not been in any accident. Not with another car, not by myself. My car has not been out of my possession, I had no CLUE what they were talkinga about, and here they were involving law firms. I freaked some more. Then, I leapt to some conclusions.
Last summer, the front license plate vanished off my car. At the time, it made me irritable, and it was annoying, but I went and got new plates, was assured by the DMV that I did not need to file a police report, and that the records would show I had new plates if there were ever an issue. So, I forgot about it. This December, I received an overdue parking ticket, mailed to my house, under the old plate number. I freaked, but minorly, compared to this weekend's freaking. Ah, perspective. I called the city, and spent about 4 hours arguing with them. They insisted it had probably just been a typo, and told me they'd delete the ticket, and not to worry about it. I worried about it, and asked them about the possibility that someone was out there driving around with my plates committing crimes. They shrugged. I demanded they take my name off the plates. They refused. It turns out, there is simply *no recourse whatsoever* for getting a license plate out of your name. The last owner of the plate is forever attached to it. I again demanded to know about filing police reports.
"Wouldn't matter," I was told.
"Why NOT?" I demanded.
"Cause our computers don't talk to their computers."
I screamed in rage for a while.
So, when this letter arrived, it seemed a natural conclusion that indeed, I had been right, there is someone out there, COMMITTING CRIMES WITH MY PLATE, probably ready to commit some kind of multiple homicide any second now. I was, naturally enough, completely wrong.
In fact, the truth is much more surreal.
The claimant had not listed my old plate, they had listed my new one. I paused for a while, after the agent told me this and then said... "but... I still wasn't in an accident." She asked me lots of questions, like whether or not someone else could have driven my car (no) or whether there was any damage to my car (no again). She wondered if it might have been a typo in the report that listed my plate by mistake. This seemed like a good idea to both of us. She assigned an adjustor to help investigate the matter. Then she and the adjustor got on the case of the law firm, to get some details.
No, it was not an incorrect plate. They listed my plate, my car information, my name and address. They had it all. (For those of you wondering, it turns out the Gov't in some states will turn this info over to anyone who has your plate number and ASKS for it). An accident report had been filed, describing the location, the damage, and the injuries to the four occupants of the other vehicle.
Still, I insisted. I hadn't actually *been* in an accident. "I was home!" I cried. "I know, cause I checked my computer to see what I was doing that night!" (Shut up, I know how sad that sounds.) My insurance company called the insurance company of the other vehicle listed in the accident. The other insurance company came back with this answer: the owner of the other vehicle *also* denied ever having been in an accident. She also stated she did not know the people who had claimed to be in her car in the night in question.
"Who the hell is bringing this CLAIM?" I asked.
We're all still murky on this issue, since the law firm hasn't given up much info. I had a swarm of appraisers and adjustors descend on me today, to take pictures of my car, and tape record statements from me, all to prove that, indeed, my car is undamaged, and that yes, rather than cruising the town that evening, I was, as usual, sitting on my butt in front of the computer. Now we have to sit and wait and see if the claimant backs down, or if we have to go forward to prove that this accident never happened. Even though both vehicle owners say it never happened. And the person claiming otherwise is unknown to both of us.
It's just so very, very bizarre. Even the adjustor says this is a first for him.
One theory is that the owner of the other car was in fact in on this clear-cut case of fraud, but is panicking now that the insurance company didn't just cough up some money, and is trying to disassociate herself from it all. Certainly, the accident report was filed in her name. Another is that someone really did just pick two plates at random, and try to shake down the insurance company. They're probably thinking to themselves, "hey, victimless crime! Big insurance company won't even miss the money!"
Well, as the person who utterly, completely, freaked the hell out, this was NOT A VICTIMLESS crime. Utter, total panic and fear. Concern about how to prove a negative. Panic over the missing plate. Hell, fear of driving my CAR before the appraisers could come take pictures of it, in case of an accident! My utter conviction that somehow, I was going to end up taking the blame/eating the cost for this thing which has nothing to do with me. I don't just want this case to go away, no. I want the people who brought the claim arrested, and shackled to something. Something like a moving vehicle.
You are supposed to learn from this type of thing, my Mom keeps telling me. So, what have I learned?
I have learned that I am full of rage and hate for this person, whoever they are. For all people out there committing insurance fraud, in fact.
I have learned I can more or less recreate my life through email and irc logs.
And, finally, in the actually useful department, I have learned that you should always, ALWAYS, file a stolen plate report, even when the DMV tells you otherwise. This I learned, when I finally did what I should have to begin with -- called my local police station, and was given the correct procedure to follow, which they let me do, even months after the event. The report won't save me from receiving future parking tickets, but, when that loon with my plates finally goes on their crime spree, it will save me from actual arrest.
*Name Changed to Protect Idiot Lawfirm
Well, I came home late Thursday evening, and discovered a great big fat letter from my insurance company waiting for me. The letter began like this:
Your policy with us requires that we be notified promptly of any accident involving your automobile. Our records reveal that you have no yet notified us of an accident occurring on or about the above date. We were informed of this accident by BigFatLiarAttorneys* & Associates, Attorneys at Law
So I stood there for a moment going, "buh?" and then I freaked. OUT. I have not been in any accident. Not with another car, not by myself. My car has not been out of my possession, I had no CLUE what they were talkinga about, and here they were involving law firms. I freaked some more. Then, I leapt to some conclusions.
Last summer, the front license plate vanished off my car. At the time, it made me irritable, and it was annoying, but I went and got new plates, was assured by the DMV that I did not need to file a police report, and that the records would show I had new plates if there were ever an issue. So, I forgot about it. This December, I received an overdue parking ticket, mailed to my house, under the old plate number. I freaked, but minorly, compared to this weekend's freaking. Ah, perspective. I called the city, and spent about 4 hours arguing with them. They insisted it had probably just been a typo, and told me they'd delete the ticket, and not to worry about it. I worried about it, and asked them about the possibility that someone was out there driving around with my plates committing crimes. They shrugged. I demanded they take my name off the plates. They refused. It turns out, there is simply *no recourse whatsoever* for getting a license plate out of your name. The last owner of the plate is forever attached to it. I again demanded to know about filing police reports.
"Wouldn't matter," I was told.
"Why NOT?" I demanded.
"Cause our computers don't talk to their computers."
I screamed in rage for a while.
So, when this letter arrived, it seemed a natural conclusion that indeed, I had been right, there is someone out there, COMMITTING CRIMES WITH MY PLATE, probably ready to commit some kind of multiple homicide any second now. I was, naturally enough, completely wrong.
In fact, the truth is much more surreal.
The claimant had not listed my old plate, they had listed my new one. I paused for a while, after the agent told me this and then said... "but... I still wasn't in an accident." She asked me lots of questions, like whether or not someone else could have driven my car (no) or whether there was any damage to my car (no again). She wondered if it might have been a typo in the report that listed my plate by mistake. This seemed like a good idea to both of us. She assigned an adjustor to help investigate the matter. Then she and the adjustor got on the case of the law firm, to get some details.
No, it was not an incorrect plate. They listed my plate, my car information, my name and address. They had it all. (For those of you wondering, it turns out the Gov't in some states will turn this info over to anyone who has your plate number and ASKS for it). An accident report had been filed, describing the location, the damage, and the injuries to the four occupants of the other vehicle.
Still, I insisted. I hadn't actually *been* in an accident. "I was home!" I cried. "I know, cause I checked my computer to see what I was doing that night!" (Shut up, I know how sad that sounds.) My insurance company called the insurance company of the other vehicle listed in the accident. The other insurance company came back with this answer: the owner of the other vehicle *also* denied ever having been in an accident. She also stated she did not know the people who had claimed to be in her car in the night in question.
"Who the hell is bringing this CLAIM?" I asked.
We're all still murky on this issue, since the law firm hasn't given up much info. I had a swarm of appraisers and adjustors descend on me today, to take pictures of my car, and tape record statements from me, all to prove that, indeed, my car is undamaged, and that yes, rather than cruising the town that evening, I was, as usual, sitting on my butt in front of the computer. Now we have to sit and wait and see if the claimant backs down, or if we have to go forward to prove that this accident never happened. Even though both vehicle owners say it never happened. And the person claiming otherwise is unknown to both of us.
It's just so very, very bizarre. Even the adjustor says this is a first for him.
One theory is that the owner of the other car was in fact in on this clear-cut case of fraud, but is panicking now that the insurance company didn't just cough up some money, and is trying to disassociate herself from it all. Certainly, the accident report was filed in her name. Another is that someone really did just pick two plates at random, and try to shake down the insurance company. They're probably thinking to themselves, "hey, victimless crime! Big insurance company won't even miss the money!"
Well, as the person who utterly, completely, freaked the hell out, this was NOT A VICTIMLESS crime. Utter, total panic and fear. Concern about how to prove a negative. Panic over the missing plate. Hell, fear of driving my CAR before the appraisers could come take pictures of it, in case of an accident! My utter conviction that somehow, I was going to end up taking the blame/eating the cost for this thing which has nothing to do with me. I don't just want this case to go away, no. I want the people who brought the claim arrested, and shackled to something. Something like a moving vehicle.
You are supposed to learn from this type of thing, my Mom keeps telling me. So, what have I learned?
I have learned that I am full of rage and hate for this person, whoever they are. For all people out there committing insurance fraud, in fact.
I have learned I can more or less recreate my life through email and irc logs.
And, finally, in the actually useful department, I have learned that you should always, ALWAYS, file a stolen plate report, even when the DMV tells you otherwise. This I learned, when I finally did what I should have to begin with -- called my local police station, and was given the correct procedure to follow, which they let me do, even months after the event. The report won't save me from receiving future parking tickets, but, when that loon with my plates finally goes on their crime spree, it will save me from actual arrest.
*Name Changed to Protect Idiot Lawfirm
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Also, GAH. I am with you in the loathing and rage. Mind you, much of mine has nothing to do with yours, but I figured it was karmically apt to channel it productively for you.
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The fuck?! What an insane situation. It never would have occured to me that something like this could happen! I think you're giving the person too much credit if you think they were thinking of it as a victimless crime--either that, or not enough, as they'd have to be dumber than a post to believe that these guys wouldn't involve the real people in the whole situation.
Since both people who actually own the cars and supposedly are involved are denying everything, I hope this means that this whole thing can be resolved. I feel so bad for you. Be sure to keep us posted on what's going on.
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I can loan you a baseball bat if you need one. *g*